So Pete, Robyn and I saw the Lord of the Rings sequel last night...and here's what I'm dying to know...

1. What is up with the bad ass dragons flying around scaring the shit out of everyone? I mean, what is the POINT of looking so damn bad ass if you're only going to flinch and fly away scared when poked by a single arrow?

2. Why does the blond elf guy never sweat? Or get dirty? I know if I were running around like that, never brushing or washing my hair or putting it up in a ponytail, I'd have a rat's nest on my head by the end of the week...or at least by the end of the first battle. (also, didn't he used to be in REO Speedwagon?)

3. The skinny schizo creature with buggy eyes that crawls around on all fours...he has got to be Yoda's little brother with a heroin problem.

4. Why do all the bad people have such scary teeth, while all the good people have perfect straight teeth? I'm thinking specifically of ghastly-goth-guy-with-greasy-hair. Is it that the good guys are more conscientious about brushing and regular checkups? Have better access to Crest and Oral-B? Or were just lucky and affluent enough to have gotten braces in childhood?

5. Why haven't Frodo and the other hobbit kissed already?? They are JUST dying to. I know it.

--may--