My maternal grandmother passed away Sunday morning. I'm really glad I got to know her; my other grandparents passed away when I was too young to have many memories of them. I have amazing memories of Granny.

Unfortunately, the notification of her passing in the local newspaper provides an excellent opportunity to offer some tips on writing an obituary.

1) It's important to get not only the time of the service but also THE DATE correct. 2) If unsure, ask someone else for the spelling of the deceased's husband's (in this case the author's father's) name. 3) Children of the deceased who spent time in her uterus trump step-children she met 15 years ago in the listing of survivors, even if the step-children have a Y chromosome. 4) If you're going to list survivors' locations, first find out survivors' loations. 5) The survivors' list is an excellent place to employ the semicolon. However, if you go with the semicolon, it's not okay to randomly substitute commas.

Finally, if you're unaccustomed to writing an obituary, have someone who's been through mortuary school or runs a funeral service do it for you. That person has the necessary expertise to.... er. Never mind. Strike that.