Like my new dish? ... Yeah, me too. It's a 10-foot pole stuck in concrete. "Where's the dish?" you might ask. An excellent question!

Hazy skies, puffy clouds, or a light breeze is enough to cause my poor roof-mounted satellite dish to drop from 5.3dB to 3.9dB in signal quality. 5.0dB is the threshold for the minimum serviceable satellite internet connection. Most people get 7-13dB of signal strength in clear skies, I'm lucky to get 5.3

When a satellite dish isn't perfectly aligned with the satellite, the signal quality drops. My dish has never been in alignment. Signal quality drops further when there are haze, clouds, drizzle, rain, or snow between dish and satellite. Mine never had a chance...

Ask anyone on #Sidekick or #Ascension (on EFnet) about my connection. Read my blogs for just the four months I've had my sidekick. Severe problems are weekly, minor problems are daily.

I wrote a letter and fax to Starband, Alliance Satellite, and All Wireless last Sunday. It got me a pole in the ground yesterday and a call today. The tech's wife blew out her van's engine while picking up their son, he ruined the transmission in his van, and he needs a van to haul the 40-foot ladder to get my former Starband dish mount off the roof.

"As bad as your problems are, Ken, I assure you, mine are worse," he told me.

I've spent $499 on the satellite gear, $199 for the "professional installation", $80 additional labor for the extension ladder, $240 on three additional visits, and I continue to pay $70/month. For something that doesn't even work in haze or disconnects when a puffy cloud passes.

Should you know a family member, friend, or acquaintance who expresses interest in satellite internet, please heed my lesson. Beat them senseless, take their wallet and credit cards, and leave them for dead... It's kinder than what Starband will so to them.