so this is the first time I have written a blog from my sidekick. I'm sitting at work so rediculously bored and iv just been thinking a lot. Lately iv been feeling like my feet are in cement no matter how hard I try I get nowhere. I'm tired of middletown I'm so over it but haven't found my way out yet. I still don't have a car and that bums me out. When your 19 and have to ask your mom for rides while most of the kids that live in your town own cars my parents can't afford. And that's not what bothers me the most I'd like a nice car but I can deal witha running one I just find the twists and bends in everyones fate makes things look awfully unfair sometimes. My minds been stuck on one girl but I constantly have to deal with crazy past girlfriends trying to give me more weight to carry. One in perticular needs to growup. Its over its been over and iv moved on. I just want to set my life straight let this girl know she's the only one and if I'm not ill get over it iv gotten good at that.. I'd just like to know the deal! I work all the time at fucking feet first getting paid absolutely nothing so I'm waiting to start bartending school I think it'll be good for me to take up for now. I hope to also start this brookdale class soon so I can graduate and get started on college. I'm not an idiot but I don't tend to put forth any effort when it comes to things like school but somethings different these days. I feek older I feel like iv grown up and matured. I don't like growing up but any change is a good change as far as I see it right now. In conclusion I'm just bored with the life I lead, I know things will change and ill get where I want to be but I hate wasting a day in this deadbeat town. Late --thedeathdealer